People seem to keep on asking if I still want to pursue medicine.

To be honest, I want to. But I don’t want my parents to pay for my studies anymore. Working myself made me realize earning money is no joke. We are not as well of as my parents try to provide us. Until now, I can’t believe how they were able to send me to school— not just any school but a private and one of the top medical technology schools in the country. (Yes, free promo) I’m so thankful to have been given the chance to experience studying without thinking of anything but acads.

Also, I have a younger sibling and a niece. I feel like I’m robbing them opportunities if I ever insist on having my parents make my dreams come true. All our money will be spent on me again. I don’t want that.

Parang ayoko na ulit mag-isa. That’s one of the reasons I always tell people. It’s true though. I can’t believe I was able to live alone for five years (MTLE review included). Being back here in our province makes it hard for me to even think of being away again for several years just to study. I just got back, imagine the days and moments I could’ve spent with my family if I’ll be away again… the thought alone makes me sad. With the recent events, I’m even more convinced to just stay. At least if I were to die, I’m with my family.

Can I handle all the info? Kaya ba ng megabyte brain ko ang terabyte info ng medskul? I’m scared I’d lose hope in the middle of being in it. This was what I realized when I reached the clinical year during undergrad years. The clinical subjects in medical technology were enough to overwhelm me, how much more sa medicine?

Lastly,

It’s hard being average. Too average to pass a scholarship with entry quota grades to maintain and too average earner to afford a regular medical school.

Must be nice to reach for your dreams without any problems, noh?

Anyways, if we’re lucky enough to survive this pandemic, I hope I get to chance upon an opportunity to realize this seemingly-impossible dream. #Hwaiting!